Week 1, Day 2: DOLPH LUNDGREN

First step in becoming more Dolph-like: gorgeous Swedish white-blonde hair.  I'm not gonna lie.  I actually bleached my hair a few days ago in order to fulfill a lifelong dream to look like the singer from Roxette.  But, Marie Fredriksson is also a badass Swede, so I say it counts.  Wanna argue the point?  Just 'cause I can't take down Chuck yet doesn't mean I can't take down YOU!

As you can see, I've also scored myself a leading lady who is literally heaving her breasts into my face.  Now that's straight-up Dolph.  I've also scored myself some badass aviator glasses (not pictured, obviously).  Phase II is going to take a little longer to accomplish.  Stay tuned...

Week 1, Day 1: DOLPH LUNDGREN

Dolph Lundgren.  Period.  He's 6 feet 5 inches of pure ass-kicking muscle who is a 3rd degree black-belt.  He has been a heavyweight karate champion in Europe and Australia.  Dolph has the higher body count with 632 kills as of the release of "The Expendables", compared to under 400 for Mr. Norris.  You could argue that the per film numbers are higher for Chuckie, but I would only counter that with the fact that Dolph's astounding 43 films (including one TV movie) point to his superior badassery.  The man can't be stopped.  He directed 6 of those and wrote the screenplays for 4.  He's also smokin' hot AND a genius.  Certified.  He holds a Master's degree in Chemical Engineering and was awarded a Fulbright scholarship to MIT.  He is fluent in Swedish, English and German and speaks some Spanish and a little Japanese.  He currently lives with his family in Spain.  One late night, while he was not at home, burglars broke into his house and tied up his wife in order to ransack the place.  When they saw a photo of Dolph and realized it was his house they were in, they untied his wife, apologized and left.  Dolph wasn't even home, but the thought of being hunted down by him scared the thieves so bad they bolted in terror.  It sounds like a Chuck Norris joke, but it's a Dolph Lundgren fact.